The past two days I’ve been reading a book called Pornified.  The book is based off of quantitative research and the stories of 100 people interviewed.  The purpose of the book is to disspell the myths of porn and open people’s eyes to its infiltration and effects on our society.  Two reasons people commonly gave for the acceptance of porn was the liberation of women and the theory of evolutionary psychology that "man is programmed to spread his seed all over creation".  The absurdity of these two arguments that were consistently qouted by interviewees astounds me. 

 

The argument that the male mind cannot help but indulge in porn or any lustful thoughts because he needs to spread his seed is highly illogical.  Okay let’s suppose that men evolved from apes at a significantly lower rate than women and needed to "beat out" any potential competitors by impregnating every woman he ever saw so that his superior race would win and propogate the earth.  Why does this lead to an excuse for the acceptance of porn? We have evolved so much that our world is now populated by over 6 billion people.  People claim that because the earth is sufficiently populated the impulse and desire to be with every woman still exists without an acceptable outlet, so it’s only natural to watch porn.  Furthermore if a man does not entertain this rudimentary impulse through fantasies of being sexually pleased by various women, then he will cheat on his partner in real life.  Please enlighten me… how is watching the double and triple penetration of a woman satisfy a natural desire needed for the evolution of man?  How is watching a man excrete or defecate in a woman’s mouth linked to the progress of the human race?  What about rape?  How did that help us evolve?  I would view all of the sexual acts listed above as highly detrimental from an evolutionary perspective.  After all, such acts would encourage (on the most basic level) the spread of disease.  Even before any introduction of STD’s, consuming excrement and feces would not be conducive to reproducing a healthy population.  Not to mention the harmful effects on cognitive development.   Surely the survival of the fittest would suggest such beings with naturally harmful desires would have lost the race, so to speak.   Evolution teaches that humans have evolved.  This means that people have the capacity to control impulses.  Can’t we give men enough credit to believe that they are more intelligent than cavemen?  Why does the speculated behavior of a caveman, with no real evidence, become rationalization for modern behavior?  After all, I’ve never seen a person lay in bed all day and claim it was natural, because humans evolved from amoebas that have no arms or legs. 

 

Looking at the acceptance of porn from the perspective of a woman in the context of evolutionary psychology brings more to mind.  In order to be an understanding partner/mate/spouse/girlfriend a woman must  accept (or at least turn a blind eye) to a man’s porn use.  If I am going to buy that man’s evolutionary impulse to lust after women is to be respected, then I am also going to argue that women have an evolutionary need to be loyal in a relationship to ensure the best interests of the same male seed that once had to be spread like appleseeds across America.  A woman’s desire for trust and fidelity in a relationship is innate.  It’s been around since cavewomen were bearing children and their male counterparts were having rampant sex.  This same innate desire has, in theory, allowed families to flourish for generations.  It has nurtured successful propagation of the human race cognitively,emotionally, and physically.  It is still an arguably necessary value that contributes to strong families and satisfying relationships.  Doesn’t a woman’s need for fidelity in a relationship deserve at least the same amount if not more respect than a man’s indulgence in an "uncontrollable urge"?

 

Moving on… A second common reason men and women explained their acceptance of porn was it attributed to women’s liberation.  One woman, who was a women’s rights activist, claimed she tried to like porn because she was a leftist feminist, but she just couldn’t agree with it.  I cannot believe that educated people can buy into the notion that enjoying porn makes you a leftist feminist standing for women’s liberation.  Since when does sold sex equal freedom?  What is freeing about a man paying to watch plastic women panting and sweating at the mere touch of an average man, and howling in ectasy from rape?  The only difference between a porn star and a sex slave is that the porn star chose her bondage.  The porn star and the sex slave both suffer internally, both have endured sexual abuse, both have lost their right to be valued by men for more than their body, and both receive some kind of material benefit for their services.  Or maybe the porn star didn’t completely chose her bondage, maybe her bondage began when another man stole her sexual dignity through abuse, pre-porn star status.  Women who claim they are liberated because they enjoy women being portrayed and treated as objects do so in order to please men.  It’s like telling the man "anything you can do, I can do too".  The purpose of women’s liberation is to be valued in society with the same importance that a man is valued.  It doesn’t mean women need to become men in every area of life including bad habits.  If you ask me trying to hang in the boys locker room by saying "I can watch porn and advocate it" is a backwards attempt to be respected. Muslim women often view the western woman as being oppressed due to the objectification of female sexuality in our culture.  They may have to wear scarfs on their heads, but at least their men aren’t asking for boob jobs. 

 

All this is to say men are not subjects to be controlled by porn, and women are not empowered by it.  I am not ashamed to state I am disgusted by the disrespect of men and women in porn, and I have no desire to be with a man who fantisizes about it.  Call me prude, call me uptight, rigid, closed-minded, anti-feminist, insecure… whatever you want.  I  respect myself enough as a person to boldly say sex is beautiful, but porn is an uncompromisable deal-breaker for me.