Sixteen days remain until I leave for India.  My decision to go to India this summer seemed somewhat sudden, but it is the result of a long-term relationship that has been developing for years.  I have been to India twice before, and each experience left me with revelations of deeper truths. 

 

The first trip I went to tsunami ravaged areas in Tamil Nadu at the age of 19.  We spent our time traveling with Indian missionaries to Dalit villages.  It was my first time to an Asian country, and it was my first experience with the "two-thirds world".  I initially left India feeling more sure than ever in my faith and calling to ministry.  My theology changed to one that cannot remove the voice of the marginalized from my understanding of God.  I let the stories of silent sufferers penetrate my soul and leave me dissatisfied with formula understandings of who God is and how he loves us.  Obedience no longer equaled blessing, and disobedience no longer equaled negative consequence.  Justice was more difficult to grasp, so I learned to wrestle with God.  I left India unsettled.

 

The faces didn’t leave me, and they protected me from conforming to the American dream I could so easily attain.  A little more than a year later I found myself in Tamil Nadu again, spending most of my time in Chennai.  I was studying abroad on our floating campus, mostly reserved for the wealthy elite, known as Semester at Sea. Instead of India being the focus of an overseas experience it was now one of many ports our ship stopped at.  We docked in India after visiting five other Asian countries.  This country was different from China, Vietnam and Myanmar.  The culture shock did not phase me.  India felt like home at that point. The culture on the ship had built the country up with promises of the exotic and sensational, but I went easy on her.  Exhausted from traveling I felt like I was visiting an old friend, and in reality I did.  I met up with Irudayaraj (aka Brother Heart) a missionary I had met on my first visit.  The short time I spent with Brother Heart reminded me of the certainty I had in the unseen, but was struggling so hard to hold onto.  To be honest, I simultaneously envied his faith and was put off by the urgency he felt to spread the gospel.  His dedication to ministry and his passionate, unshakable faith brought to the surface the shame I had felt for the doubt I was filled with.  After my visit with Brother Heart I spent the night sleeping on a roof in a Dalit Village after an evening of celebration. My experience in that village taught me the importance of seeing the oppressed for more than their suffering.  If I cannot see others for more than their need, than I am no different from the oppressor who cannot see others for more than their inadequacy.  I left India knowing I would be back.

 

India: round three.  I am returning to the subcontinent, but instead of going back to the old stomping grounds of Chennai, I will be in the Himalayan Mountains.  I hear the North is completely different from the South.  I have also been hearing about the Ebenezer’s for a couple years now.  They have touched the lives of good friends (the Hollands) who credit their decision to marry as being largely influenced by this couple’s mentoring.  Mrs. Ebenezer is responsible for beginning a business, Himalayan Tapestries, which trains and employs abused women in textile production and cooking.  It is through my relationship to Hollands that I got involved selling Himalayan Tapestries’ textiles at Messiah College in 2006.  This past fall I also became friends with their son.  And so, about a week ago, when I met the Ebenezer’s for the first time in person, I felt like I already knew them.  My spirit was settled during the time I spent with them. Despite my fears of being a college graduate with no job, I felt assured in my decision to go.   I’m leaving America renewed in my faith, ready to embrace what lies ahead, and unsure of what the future holds.